Vote for Hector!

You might just have noticed that there is a General Election looming and you have all probably fallen victim to a bit of canvassing around your constituency in recent weeks. As if it’s not bad enough that politicians spend the rest of the year spending our hard earned money on their duck houses and moats, but they then have the front to come knocking on our doors and asking for us to vote for them. Well, Hector: Fat Arse of the Law has also had a titful of all this election rubbish and the damp squibs who have been vying for votes. (Although Hector did warm to Gordon Brown after the Bigot-gate Scandal. He would have called that lady a lot worse had he been given the chance!)

So in a bid to score one for the little people Hector has decided to stand for office in the borough of Clappers Wreake. And judging by the fact that no-one else is standing against him, he stands a pretty good chance. The recent branding of Clappers Wreake as ‘A great steaming log in the cistern of the Midlands’ by Hector in the upcoming iPhone App ‘We Negotiate with Terrorists’, will do little to endear him to his potential constituents, but seeing as every other candidate has ponced off as they consider Clappers Wreake to be worse than a steaming turd and beyond saving, means that Hector is currently sitting pretty in the polls.

Adopting the catchy call to arms of ‘Who Cares’, Hector hopes that his recent endeavours to save the people of Clappers Wreake from a pretty nasty terrorist situation in the ‘Badge of Carnage’ series of games, will help him to a landslide victory. That and his policies to re-introduce capital punishment to the justice system and corporal punishment to the education system.

Some people have seen his running for office as a cynical publicity exercise to try and bolster sales of the first instalment of his series of iPhone games, which goes on sale on the 30th May 2010. Rumour has it that Hector plans to introduce a mandate that will see every iPhone and iPod Touch user in the UK by forced to purchase the point and click adventure game when it goes on sale, or face hefty fines and bouts of community service. Hector refused to comment on these claims but he did say off the record that he would personally visit every one of his constituents who didn’t buy the App and introduce them to the hairy side of his hand. He also refused to comment about which side of his hand this would actually be.

So, if you have had enough of the election and all of that sort of nonsense, Vote for Hector. Because a Vote for Hector is a Vote for Change. Pocket Change.

Show your support for Hector by downloading his campaign poster here. With your help we can turn this country around back to the glory days of the early 1980′s.