Hector: Badge of Carnage – Out Now!

So the day has finally arrived. They said it couldn’t be done! Yes, the first installment of the Hector: Fat Arse of the Law Badge of carnage games is out today and currently available for download from the iTunes App Store. It feels a bit strange saying that as I have spent the best part of a year saying coming soon, or check back for more details, but no more. It gives me great pride to say ‘Click here’ to go to iTunes and get your copy now!

Hector: Badge of Carnage Episode 1

When a hostage crisis erupts in the centre of Clappers Wreake, only one man has the diplomatic finesse to defuse a simmering situation before it boils over into a stew of butchery and bloodshed: Detective Inspector Hector. He’s all they’ve got. Literally. All the other negotiators are dead. Hector has a choice to make: carry out the terrorist’s curiously altruistic demands, or watch as his fellow officers are picked off one by one. Hector’s still on the fence.

Stagger a drunken mile through the Crime Capital of Britain in the size 9s of Detective Inspector Hector: part criminalist, part kebab-fiend, all cop.

Do all the things you’ve dreamed about: hit a tramp with a crowbar, steal a young man’s trousers, kick a heroin addict into a cardboard box, enter a porn shop without embarrassment, carry a designer handbag… all in the name of justice, and all in spectacular ground-breaking 2D.

Did we mention? It’s not for kids.

This isn’t one of those bog-standard Oh-god-where-am-I-how-did-I-get-here-there’s-a-screwdriver-in-a-desk-drawer type escape games that the interweb seems to be infested with nowadays. HECTOR:BADGE OF CARNAGE takes you back to the glory days of the point ‘n click graphic adventure: nonsensical inventory items, favour-hungry reprobates, and a relentless stream of witty one-liners.

What you get:

- 18 sordid, filthy, rundown locations
- 23 well-developed & witty characters (+ 1 stinking drunk)
- 40 Inventory items (includes Free Lubricant!)
- 397 interactive objects
- 2421 spoken lines of dialogue
- Cinematic cutscenes
- Original score
- A good few hours worth of low action puzzle-solving gameplay

What we Get:

- Your cash.

Look, we honestly don’t care if you like it. We just want you to buy it. If you don’t, you’ll never see Episode 2 or 3.

Watch HECTOR: BADGE OF CARNAGE teasers and trailers on www.youtube.com/thehectorfiles or go to www.thehectorfiles.tv for more info on Hector. Or just carry on your sad little lives without paying a blind bit of notice to anything I say. Why change the habit of a lifetime.